Gere, Laura Beth

English class rooms are supposed to teach students how to become literate. The students learn how to read and write, but is the class room really broadening their composition skills or hindering them? Through my experiences as a student I have discovered that the class room has suppressed my confidence as a writer. In "Kitchen Tables and Rented Room: The Extracurriculum of Composition" by Anne Gere explains how literature classes can be insufficient in expanding the abilities of many potential writers. Many of my experiences coincide with Gere's arguments against class room walls.
Gere shows how the class room can prevent students from learning to their fullest potential. She explains how the school systems are ineffective in trying to broaden students' literacy. "They did not think of themselves as writers because teachers had taught them they could not write" (Gere 78). Gere is explaining how the members of the writer's workshop did not get their skills from schools but from themselves and their community. These women developed their skills from critique from one another. They were the teacher and student all in one.
All throughout school I was never confident in my writing or reading skills. In first grade I was almost held back because I was always too nervous to read out loud in front of the class or the teacher. I would stumble over my words, so the teacher just assumed I could not read. However that was not the case. I could read, not as fast as the other kids, but I was always too nervous to speak in front of the class. This was my first experience of discouragement. If I couldn't read, then how could I possibly write well?
During high school, my school experience was not any better. My English teacher was not big on writing. Her curriculum mostly included reading and tests. She did not really reach us how to develop our skills as writers other than grammar. I remember we were assigned a paper on our thoughts on elderly people. For once I decided to be more opinionated rather than passive. I decided my essay would not be cute and fluffy like my class mates. She did not agree with my opinion and docked my grade. I felt insulted and discouraged from being expressive and innovative.
Gere, also explains how these women develop confidence through their writing. "Despite their inexperience, workshop participants gain confidence and begin to think of themselves as writers" (Gere 76). These women discovered how to be confident in their writing and in turn discovered themselves. They no longer saw themselves as just another person, writers. To be a writer, not just someone who writes signifies being importance and having your voice heard.
In my writing experience I discovered my confidence is like a roller coaster. In elementary school I despised writing. I never felt good enough. I always felt as if I did not live up to the standards of my fellow classmates. This feeling emulated on and off throughout the years. In middle school I was placed in advanced English. I did not understand how, but it gave me confidence in my abilities as a writer. That soon changed in high school. When I attended the big public school I struggled in my English classes. When I transferred to the local charter school, I felt more comfortable but definitely not confident. I always measured myself to my fellow students, even though I knew they were more advanced in their composition skills and I was excelled in mathematics.
It wasn't until I attended college the second time that I regained my confidence as a writer. In my English 101 and 102 classes I discovered that my writing is significantly better when I care about the subject matter. My English 102 instructor challenged me and I actually enjoyed writing. However because I struggled and failed my last semester do to relationship problems, mental and physical breakdowns and parental health issues, I feel I have lost his confidence once again. I no longer have the same passion for writing I did a year ago. I have lost this devotion to exhaustion. I feel I am slowly losing this battle. I feel just as these women in the workshops once did. I do not feel as if i am a writer. I'm fairly confident that I am not a good writer. I hate reading my own writing as well as having my writing read. Gere states, "But unless you read your work and get reactions from different groups of people, you're not a writer. You're just dilettanting around. You gotta get rejected and get applause," (Gere 76). I agree with Gere; I am not a writer. My fear of rejection over powers my need for approval. The only thing keeping me from quitting is the same thing keeping my from my potential; fear of failure.
Gere explains how these workshops do not just benefit the individual but the community too. These women gain confidence in them and help change the quality for their personal relationships. I feel this is the kind of change many people need. Gere says, "Positive feelings about oneself and one's writing, motivation to revise and improve composition skills, opportunities for publication of various sorts, the belief that writing can make a difference in individual and community life--these accomplishments of workshops outside classroom walls mirror the goals most of us composition teachers espouse for our students" (Gere 78). These kinds of feelings can make the difference in one's life not just a writer but as a person. As future teachers we need to discover ways we can interpret extracurriculum into the curriculum of the class room.
In high school I feel they failed miserably at this. They made us exchange papers and correct the mistakes. However, the students never corrected more than grammar. In college, I've discovered the instructors achieve this more than in high school, but it's not quite as affective as the workshops in Gere's article. In my English courses we always have peer review. The problem with this is that many of the students do not have confidence in their abilities to critique their peers. Teachers need to develop a way to engage their students with one another and the subject matter.